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Fruitcake (Jimmy Buffett)

You know I was talking to my friend Desdemona the other day,
She runs this space station and bake shop down near Boomtown.
She told me that human beings are flawed individuals.
That cosmic bakers took us out of the oven a little too early.
And that's the reason we're as crazy as we are and I believe it.

Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

Paradise, lost and found
Paradise, take a look around
I was out in California where I hear they have it all
They got riots, fires, mud slides
They've got sushi in the mall
Water bars, Brontasaurs, Chinese modern lust
Shake and bake life with the quake
The secret's in the crust

Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

Religion! Religion! Oh, there's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning. Here we go now
Alright, alter boys
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa
Where's the church, who took the steeple
Religion's in the hands of some crazy-ass people
Television preachers with bad hair and dimples
The god's honest truth is it's not that simple
It's the Buddhist in you, it's the Pagan in me
It's the Muslim in him, she's Catholic ain't she?
It's the born again look its the WASP and the Jew
Tell me what's goin' on, I ain't got a clue

Now here comes the big ones. Relationships! We all got 'em, we all want 'em. What do we do with 'em?
Here we go, I'll tell ya
She said you gotta do your fair share
Now cough up half the rent
I treat my body like a temple
You treat yours like a tent
But the right word at the right time
May give me a little hug
That's the difference between lightning
And a harmless lightnin' bug

Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

That's right, you too, yeah, those crumbs are spread all around this universe
I've seen fruitcakes
I saw this guy in Santa Monica rollerskate naked through the crosswalk
Down in New Orleans in the French market there are fruitcakes like you cannot believe
New York, forget it, fruitcake city, Down island, we've got fruitcakes
Spread them crumbs around that's right, we want 'em around
Keep bakin' baby, keep bakin'